I cannot fucking believe this, even tho I deserve it. Why did I have to go and have sex two days before Black Friday? Why? WHY?!!! And also on two days before I am supposed to have thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family. "Hey, guess what! You don't get to do ANYTHING, because YOU get to have a BLADDER INFECTION!!! WOOHOO!!!!" Fuck and shit. I should have known. This fuckin' sucks. And to top it off, I am now stuck in a house with two roommates, which makes me even more uncomfortable. I am soooooooooooooo pissed off... I can't even get to a fucking clinic to get a urine test done and get some fucking meds, because I have no way to get there! So I just get to sit here in my misery all day, and do nothing I had planned. Fuck you, urinary tract. FUCK. YOU.

   Wow, part of me doesn't want to believe that someone could be SO self-righteous and stupid. But then I remember...and it doesn't surprise me. It only makes me want to tear her hair and claw her eyes out more. What a fucking bitch.
   First off: YOU are the fucking slut-faced ho-bag who had sex with MY boyfriend, even though you could have said no, and there was nothing in it for you, AND you were with someone. So that was YOUR fucking dumbass mistake, not mine. And number two, don't attack me just because I didn't ever wanna see your fucking ugly fat-ass face again, right after it happened. I needed space, and I thought you did too, since you NEVER attempt to talk to me. I am ALWAYS the one being the adult, need I remind you? So don't fucking step to ME like that, you fucking shit-bag. I am in no mood for your guilt-trip shit, trying to accuse Dan of not telling the truth, or only parts of it. My relationship with him is not your fucking business, it never was, and it never will be. You wanna ruin your life, fine, go ahead. But the next time you accuse ME of being in the wrong, after being a fucking whore yourself, I will not save my words for the blogging world. You can wear a mask of innocence all you want, but you can't take back the words you've said to me. So you can go to hell, you shit-headed fugly bitch. Kiss my fucking ass. I hope your boyfriend dumps you, and that your baby ends up ugly AND stupid. But hey, she's YOUR offspring, so chances are pretty good.

Aaron
Aiden
Ariel
Bram
Brant
Brent
Brody
Calvin
Casimir
Casper
Caspian
Cayden
Cian
Corey
Dean
Donovan
Dorian
Eamon
Eliot
Emmett
Ezra
Fallon
Forest
Hosea
Isaiah
Jacob
Jethro
Jonas
Joseph
Joshua
Levi
Liam
Luke
Malachi
Micah
Miles
Nathan
Neal
Noah
Nolan
Remy
Reuben
Samuel
Seamus
Seth
Soren
Tobias
Uriah
Waverly
Zephaniah

   Okay, what the fuck. I pray and beg for this to go away, for people to understand, for it to get just a LITTLE BIT better, and it just seems like life is intent on torturing me forever. Yeah, I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but all the same, I am wondering why I should be put through this. I'd rather not just "handle" it, because I feel like I am turning into a bitter, paranoid being. One who doesn't trust anyone completely, and whose worst fears are being preyed upon day after day, so that I can't get beyond them.
   I know that Tara should not have so much power over me, when she isn't even around. And yet, I know she's there. And that she is in contact with people that I don't want her to be in contact with. It's like she only does it to rub it in my face. How can I continually try to ignore something that makes me angry and jealous and paranoid about my friendships? I've already tried cutting myself off from seeing things that might provoke me, but it doesn't work, because I just get suspicious and frustrated, and go back to it. I just wanna know that the people I want to have in my life aren't involved in her's as well. Because even if she's not here, she's this big elephant in the room when I am with someone. Only for me, because they don't probably know or care that I know. But I find it hard to be close with someone if I know they've been in contact with Tara, because it means they share some of her sentiments and they probably feel some desire to be a part of her life. And I honestly don't want to be friends with the same people she is.